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Nosebleed Googledoodle

These are two unrelated things other than I had a nosebleed right after I decided one of my goals in life would be to be featured on the Google home page. There are definitely some random things I would love to achieve in life, like, Singing the National Anthem at a Gopher Basketball Game, voice acting for a cartoon, have a radio show, and now I’ve added do a GoogleDoodle. Google doodles are when they change the name plate on the home page to reflect something happening that day. If you don’t know what this is I doubt you’re reading this since you obviously don’t have the internet or are aware of, you know, life. I mean, even old people know what Google is – it’s the answer to all of my Mom’s disputes – “Just Google it when you get home and stop arguing!”

But really, I’m a bit worried that I may not have long to achieve this because I just had what I believe to be my first ever nosebleed. EVER. I rubbed my nose, there was a bit of pain, and then BLOOD. And then I started coughing and I had to go to the bathroom all at the same time. As obvious a fact as your non-use of the internet, I am obviously going to die from a brain tumor/brain worm/hepatitis*

The nosebleed brain tumor is – word of the day – obviously sarcasm, however the wanting to achieve a Google Doodle is a real goal, don’t judge.

*Start video at 3min 7sec. – and if you don’t like this you are OBVIOUSLY not friends with me in real life.

# Cameron: Wow, is this what a bar looks like?
# Michael: Don’t touch anything! You may get hepatitis.


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Sometimes I wish I could start my day at the end and work backward. When i decide to stay up late, which is often, I gain this moment of clarity, and a spark of momentum. My chest feels hollow and deep, and yet my heart’s throb fills the void creating a dizzying rush of blood that tingles from finger tips to tips of toes: I could fly. Fly into the sky of possibility and wonder, the dark sky before me, hollow and deep, waiting for my potential to fill it with throbbing life. All the things I’m going to do tomorrow, all the goals I’m going to accomplish, all the drive that I feel now, for tomorrow: I want to encapsulate it and take the dose in the morning.

But I am tired tomorrow morning. And the world’s darkness is heavy and suffocating. I am now afraid of my goals. Maybe they look scarier because my eyes can’t focus and they are multiplying, hulking and fuzzy. I’m hungover after a night of wishful thinking. Because the wishful thinking didn’t prepare me to take on the challenges I laid before myself the night before. The challenges, now landmines, lie in wait, inevitable destruction.

And so I stay on the side of safety, keep my head down and avoid challenging myself, promising myself that tomorrow I will challenge the field before me. I will make my plans by the light of the next moon, and tomorrow, tomorrow, I will go in a blaze of fire and light, my life bursting through the stitched boundaries of my flesh.

A crimson phoenix flash, born from the ashes of yesterdays.

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Bone Babe 4-evah!

Despite the name of my site name being “orangetrombone” I don’t think I’ve really ever discussed my being a trombone player with a music degree. I have Music B.A. from the University of Minnesota – I call it the “I LIKE MUSIC” degree because really, like the Avenue Q song goes, “What do you do with a B.A. in English? (insert Music)”

I got the degree because I originally wanted to be a teacher which turned into a music teacher/band director, which was taking a long time, and it turns out I kinda suck at theory, so when they revamped the B.A. to be more versatile (aka, easier) and less like I was working to become a composer, I went that route and finally got the heck out of college. I do still want to go back to school and become a teacher: the more I sit at my desk “helping” people the more I dream of getting out and actually HELPING people, and get rid of those pesky quotation marks.

I am glad that I got this degree, though.  It’s definitely different than anyone else I know in StL.  So, great conversation starter at the very least . . . but really I feel like the hours I spent in a practice room, listening to my music history pieces, and struggling through the demon-theory are well worth it, especially since I can claim to have a degree in something that I’ve loved and been raised with, even if it’s been relegated to hobby-status.  Because music, and really being a trombone player, in many ways defines me.

Being a trombone player, especially a female trombonist, is special in the band/instrumental world.  It is definitely a bit of a tomboy instrument growing up since it’s big and loud and has the word “bone” in it, which never fails to be followed up with Beevis & Butthead-esque tittering (heeheehee “tit”!) The sections I’ve been in from middle school through high school, college, and now in community band were/are dominated by nerd-boys, usually tall, lanky geeks who also know how to fix your computer, which has definitely come in handy.

Because of this male-domination, being a “bone babe” means toeing the fine line between lady/mom and being “one of the guys.”  You have to be okay with sick, dumb jokes while you make sure they have their marching shoes and be an awesome kick-a** girl.  Bone babes are rarely butch since most of us LIKE guys, though if you dig the chicks that’s totally cool too.  The point is, even while one of the “guys” you have to occasionally remind these boys that, while you’ll take care of them with cookies and slide oil, you are not their mom and they need to treat you well and like a girl every once in a while.

When my dad decided I would play trombone, he convinced me by telling me that “bone women” were to coolest girls in the band, super laid back, funny, and always the best players.  I was sold.  I was lucky, too, to have a best friend and fellow bone babe right from the get-go who shared my love of dirty jokes and being B.A. with a capital B.  Courtney and I had the best time all through middle school and high school, and our senior year we were the only girls in the Marching Band trombone section, and our boys loved us.  We made them locker signs and treats and it was the only year we bothered to take a group picture.  The trombone trio of the wind ensemble my senior year was also the most fun I had in high school band, me and my two boys that I sat between, Mike and Steve.  We definitely got in trouble for talking too much, though we rarely missed an entrance, an art Courtney and I had refined from age 11.

It wasn’t until I decided to pursue music in college, though, that playing my trombone really took precedence over my band social life.  “Bando’s” in my high school had a completely different schedule in high school, so all of my best friends were either in band or in another performance activity I did after school.  I had enough natural talent to keep me going with little to no practice outside of class, and that was just fine with me.  But college is where I hit my stride in playing, and thank goodness I did, or I would have never completed my degree.  Lessons and your studio are a huge chunk of your credits, at least at the UofM.  I was in the UofM Marching Band, which, again, took very little effort on my part as far as playing went most of the time.  So, it wasn’t until I decided to audition for the School of Music in my sophomore year that I really learned to love the “bone” part of being a bone babe.

I started taking lessons with John Tranter , and he is hands down the best music teacher I’ve ever had.  I don’t know what it was, but I felt like he both cared about my growth as a musician and at the same time knew how to cut through the crap without making me feel like dirt.  If I didn’t practice enough he knew it, though he rarely got more than stern in his tone.  So I strove to please him, and along the way I fell in love with my playing.  Now I was making time to practice 2-3 hours a night, sometimes 5 if I fell behind or was working on something difficult.  My first jury (basically your final test in your lessons, performing full solo pieces) I felt truly proud of my playing ability.  I realized I hadn’t really felt that way since I was little, and it was such a high.  To know that you can really do something well, that you performed at the top of your game all by yourself, that was something I had never done on my trombone.  It was weird to think that I had defined myself by this instrument for so long without actually loving the instrument itself, rather, just the culture.

Now, playing in my community band, my trombone has again taken a backseat in my life – a bit literally since it often sits in the trunk of my car waiting for Wednesday night rehearsal.  I hope to someday return to it, and I get a glimpse of that high with each performance, but it does feel like I’ve let the musician in me down.  It’s at those times that I pull out my diploma, and know that I’ve truly accomplished something in my musical career: I am a bone babe, now and forever, and that’s not something that can be taken away from me.

It also comes in handy when I tell people they have poor taste in music: Trust me, I have a B.A. in Music 🙂



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30 day (not quite a) fail

Short update: let’s see if I can get this done before my break ends in 6 minutes 🙂

The 30 days from when I originally started was ALMOST an epic fail, but then I realized that I’m halfway through 2 books because I jumped back on the reading wagon, yay!! To reach my goal of 26 books I only have to do 2-3 books per month and I’m golden. I don’t feel too bad about the poor follow through (except on the exercise, that was a bummer) but I’ve been staying busy and having a great time with Matt and the Lou Crew.

KICKBALL STARTED AGAIN THIS WEEK!! The Balls of Steel are like 40 people strong – ok, not that many, but enough to do 2 full defense teams. And there are 3 Katies and we are all great 🙂

Craft Beer dinner happened with much great food and I got to kick off the evening finding out my friend is having a GURL!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMGURL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ari is going to be an A-MAY-ZING addition to the Original 6 and I love her already!! After I yelled into the phone and had my friend put the phone to her UTERUS I then got to celebrate by telling everyone in StL and drinking some fine, fine beer. And we got to dress up, so I got to look GOOD 🙂 Dids my own hairs and everythin’ 🙂

This weekend was “Crash The Lou” which my friends were helping host around StL as part of a couch surfing event. It was also my co-worker’s wedding so some fellow employees went down to celebrate a bit at the reception, which I got a new dress for, which is fabulous 🙂
The only thing of “Crash” that I attended was the Rubik’s Cube Party (where you show up in brightly colors and try to switch your way to one color) after the wedding and it was SUPA FUN. I didn’t dress up since I had the new dress on and lookin’ stylin’, but I did wear a read mask for a bit. It was at a place called Blank Space on Cherokee street and had an all vinyl DJ.

For some reason my MinneSOta accent has been coming back which I’m loving – I think it’s because I’ve had a bit of a case of the HomeSicks since I know it will be another 4 months + before I see my family&friends again since I used up all my vacation by accident . . .

I joined Pinterest. I am wasting more time than ever before, but it is kinda neat because some of my blog posts that I’m working on require some research and it’s nice to put all the music in one place. I may be transferring some things to my Pinterest page and as soon as I figure it out I’ll get a thing added to follow me there.

I want to start and finish some crafts including some DIY home decor, have somethings pinned on Pinterest that I’d like to try but also have to wait for the money to come in to do it.

I love Fall. I love that it’s only getting up to the low to mid 70’s and that it’ll be down to the 40’s and 50’s tonight. I wish it was like this all the time. I particularly enjoyed my Salted Caramel Mocha while doing laundry.

I’d like to try again with the 30 day challenge, and actually would like to pick something new to do each month. I’d like to focus on doing dishes each day (because I’m terrible at it) doing laundry once a week, and crocheting/craft each day.

I think I will be registering for the Glow Run on 11/3/12, a 5k in the dark with glow-y stuff, who could resist? And it’ll give me a goal to get my jog back on.

K, that was 11 minutes, but still, a lot of stuff 🙂

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30 Day Challenge: Day 2 August 16th, 2012

Day 2, and Day 1 for that matter, were epic fails. Probably because I was preparing for going out of time for the third time in about a month and also because, well, boo.  (This is me refraining from saying I suck.)

I may have to start over this Monday since in packing to go back to the Great North (and by great I mean supercoolhappyfuntimes) I didn’t bring my crocheting and I’m driving so I don’t have a lot of time to read.  Excuses: YES.  Do I still feel like I’m up to the challenge, albeit a few days later than anticipated? YES.

I have to say, the great thing about a challenge is when you accomplish even a small goal you feel great.  The crappy part is the feeling crappy about not achieving those goals.  I know this is a VERY SIMPLE concept but there are some people who take this better than others, letting it roll off their backs and know that there is always a next time, a tomorrow, suns coming out and second chances.  I am not naturally one of those people.  Yeah, I’ll let certain things go because if I worried about everything I didn’t accomplish I’d go crazy.  It’s really more the forgiving I have a problem with, not the forgetting.  Though of course if you’re not forgiving yourself you’re either A) Not really forgetting and that whole phrase just gets laid on ya or B) You’re kind of crazy because you’re sitting there punishing yourself for something you don’t even remember doing. My brain is now sounding like a bad girlfriend who is mad and snipey with you all day but won’t tell you because 1) she forgot and too proud to drop it 2) it was something you did in a dream 3) she’s being a cold-heart bitch (just a kiss on the lips and that was all I need . . .)

Long story short, I’d like to not blow off this challenge, but I would like to forgive myself for starting back up a couple days late.  I would like to not punish myself but also not let myself get away with things and be honest with myself as to whether or not I’m doing my utmost to accomplish things.  Which means if I’m going to postpone until I get home on Monday then I will “practice” accomplishing this weekend by doing one of them here and there.

Oh, and I decided to add one because it’s not a physical or mental thing, it’s a fiscal thing: I’d like to put money in my savings account every day.  Whether it be 25 cents or $10.00 I just want to work on setting aside funds.  I am definitely a spender and though I do okay saving so I can pay my immediate bills I’m a bad long term saver.  This money would (hopefully) not get touched for the whole 30 days and then it will be a challenge to keep it there too.

I added the song at the top of the page after writing this post: I don’t like the implication of ending it all or violence against others but this song is awesome.  Also, they are a WEIRD group, just try to figure out what’s going on when you’re on their website.

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30 Day Challenge: Day 1 August 15th, 2012

So, I have decided on what things I would like to try to do every day for 30 days. I realized that some of the things I would like to do such as playing my trombone everyday I might not have the resources for – basically, I can’t practice in my apartment without at least a practice mute in, which I don’t own, and I can get into the practice rooms at WashU but only by sneaking in with my boyfriends ID. This doesn’t mean that I won’t necessarily try next month when I’m more prepared and that I won’t try to practice more often than I do now, which is never . . .

So, the final choices for the 30 day challenge are:

1. Crochet Each Day – try for 1 row per day on my blanket I’m working on since 1 row takes about 40 minutes

2. Exercise Each Day – this will be lumped together with “take a 30 minute walk each day”,  I want to walk on my lunch break but only if the weather isn’t awful or SUPA hot (under 85 degrees is preferable) but I also like exercising in the mornings before work or go to the gym to take a class or get on an elliptical etc.

3. Drink 64 oz of water each day.  I’m TERRIBLE about drinking water and if you’re exercising you kinda need it.

4. Read a Chapter Each Day

5. “What I like About You” notes

Again, this needed to get narrowed down and I do hope to still pursue my musical adventures at my own pace or try them more next month.  These are just things that I really want to start getting better at right now because I’ve been working on them but not 100% committed to them.  I’ve also chosen my boring work things but again, those are boring work things 🙂
So far today, I haven’t accomplished ANY of them, but I have a book, I have a 32 oz water sitting next to me, and MC & I will probably go for our 2nd run of the week tonight after BAND!!!!!!!!  So excited for Band!!  Also, work stuff is going pretty well and I’m feeling great about this “go get’em” attitude I adopted this morning.

I feel like this challenge, along with the beginning of band and MC working orientation for new grad students tomorrow, marks the wind down/end of my 2012 summer.  And just so you know, it was a GREAT summer.  One of the best.  And I wasn’t expecting much because my friends in Minneapolis know how to do summer right: alcohol, food, cigars, late nights, loud music, card games, impromptu adventures – just to name a few.  But I was working on a post in June of all the things I had already participated in this summer and I would like to post the list here along with all of the things after June that I got to do as well:

Six Flags/Floating/Car Camping/Kickball/Band/Shakespeare/Mucca Pazza/Twilight Tuesdays/Impromptu Barbeques/KJ Snacks/Monday Night Dinners/Thursday Night Hangouts/Cinco De Mayo/Parties/Sunday Night Movies/Blues Festival/Board Games/Drinking BEER/Hiking/City Museum/Crown Candy/Ice Cream Cake Apologies/Mi Ranchitos/Dressing Up at Gay Bars/Fire Pits/Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of Our Lungs/Going up in the arch with my parents/HEART/Fireworks at the Arch/Wonderful Weddings/Pride Parade/throwing up rainbows/jello shots at 2nd base/Beer-lympics/Brass Manor Olympics/Sassy Brassy Chef/Bacon/Water balloons/road trips/Grandmas/Bottoms Up Blues Gang/Funky Butt Brass Band/BEER SCHOOL/Original 6 Baby Bumps/Chicago (the musical)/Dream Girls/Aladdin/Pappy’s/Time with Family/TIME WITH MATT!!

And I still have the MN State Fair and another wedding with the UofM Friends!!  Great 1st StL summer: Mission Accomplished 🙂

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30 Day Challenge!/

Starting tomorrow, August 15th, 2012, I would like to attempt this 30 day challenge as found on HighExistence.  My friend Emily posted this on her facebook wall and I think it would be amazing to try.  They have some great ideas which I would like to attempt and document it here, which means part of my 30 day challenge would be posting on this blog again, yay!  I will officially post what I’m going to try and accomplish tomorrow since right now I have about 10 things I REALLY want to do but should (possibly) try to narrow down.  I’d also like to do one just for work, but that one will probably be SUUPAH-BORING (“suupah” being how you would say it if you’re Nicki Minaj) for you, as well as for myself, but it’s something I’d like to accomplish anyway.  The things I’m thinking about right now are:
Crocheting each day: at least 1 row of the blanket I’ve been working on for about a year now

Practice trombone: really want to get back on the horse, just gotta find the time/space/guts

Take a 30 minute walk each day (from the website)

Exercise each day: which if I do the walk, two birds!

Write a “What I like about you” note to someone who is important to me each day (from the website): this will give me the opportunity to do what I’ve wanted to for a VERY LONG TIME because sometimes I’m terrible at telling people how much I love/appreciate them and why

-Read a chapter each day (from the website): I’ve fallen off my book wagon and have to get back on!!

-“Love Thyself” (from the website): I’m a hater who be hatin’ on myself sometimes and it’s got to stop – whoah, s— got real 🙂

-Study a topic to master (from the website): I’d like to get back to studying music and bone up on ear training/theory because I know I’ve lost what little knowledge I had . . .

-Listen to a new/different album each day: man, I totally didn’t accomplish my goals with my ipod challenge, this could help though!

-Write a Novel (from the website): This is something I might wait until November to do, I found a nifty website, not even sure what I’d write about but is on my bucket list to be a published author.  Once upon a time this girl had dreams of being a writer for a living.

As for Work: I don’t really post about work here so I’ll probably just make a list for my desk, again, just boring stuff like voice mail follow ups and trying to take on extra projects.

Another project I would like to work on as well is one for the State Fair:

It’s a contest for making the next “The Great MN Get Together” ad campaign/poster.  I’m not a professional artist but I do love the MN State Fair: so much so that I’m making a special trip to MN to go hang out with my mom and my brother’s girlfriend on the opening weekend of the fair.  The deadline for submission is October 24th and you have to send in a resume and stuff with examples of your other work, so I’m sure I won’t even be considered, but how will I know if I don’t even try?

Finally, regarding new challenges: I’ve volunteered to do PR stuff for the community band I joined here in StL, Band Together.  The group is getting a new website through Word Press which I might be helping out with here and there, possibly more content stuff than anything, but more importantly getting in contact with local newspapers/radio stations/tv(?) to promote this great group!  I love to do this kind of stuff and why not for a group that I’ve definitely fallen in love with since moving to StL.  I would not have met Kelsey if not for this group and through her many, many, MANY people.  AND it keeps me playing, AND I got to be in the Pride Parade which is the most fun I’ve had at a parade since U of M Marching Band.

I know that I had a “goals” post before but I’ve been making some changes in my life over the past couple months and have done a decent job of keeping up with them.  Either way, just trying is half the battle, wish me luck! 

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